How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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