i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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