So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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