She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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