i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
