FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
