hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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