Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
