her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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