Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Welp...herpes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize