real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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