i just made my gag reflex go away.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
