All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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