Will you blow on my dice?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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