Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
