I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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