You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
