I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why do cheetos always look like penises
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize