Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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