Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
