This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
