Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
