I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize