So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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