More tranny stories later!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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