I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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