It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
