I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
