i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
