Moan for me like Helen Keller
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am one with the molecules
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
