omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
