i think i have herpe
just one?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
