I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
