Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
