I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
