Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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