So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
