So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
