please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
