i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
