some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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