i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
