I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
