can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
