I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
