the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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