in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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