this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
