I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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