bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
