Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
