its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
