...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
