Do vagina's smell?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize