if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
