Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
