bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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