my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
