I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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