i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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