Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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